Farewell to Ben Tre

Hey guys! 

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this site. As you have probably guessed, my time at Vietnam is at an end. 

However, I never properly said goodbye to Vietnam in this space. And you, my dear readers, who have been through so much of Vietnam with me, you deserve a proper farewell to this wonderful and terrible country. So I wanted to give you a chance to walk through my final days with me.

I apologize for the lateness of this post. I’ve tried to write this several times but I’ve simply gotten too emotional each time. But it’s been a month and a half since I’ve been back in Chicago, and more than two months since I returned to America. Time to do this.

When last I left you, Ross had just wrapped up his visit to Ben Tre. Ross was actually there for the last classes I was teaching in Ben Tre College, and by the time he departed I only had a week left at the College.

The first thing we did was finish English Club. I had one last English Club, with sparkling attendance this time. We played lots of games and had a lot of fun. For this final club I had no particular topic, we just pulled out a bunch of games and enjoyed ourselves!

Last English Club of the year! 

The next day I had my final presentation for Ben Tre College. I gave a talk to the rectors and deans of the college explaining everything I had done at Ben Tre College. We talked about teaching, about English Club, and the various cultural activities I had done at Ben Tre, both American cultural events and Vietnamese

The number of Americans I had brought to visit Ben Tre – My family, Liz, Ross, Andrew, Tyler, Michelle, Anna, Lindsay – was also noted, and people were very glad that I had brought so many Americans to visit Ben Tre! I was glad that my students had a chance to interact with so many different Americans, and also to learn from many different native speakers.

The sign for the final conference

The audience

Giving my final presentation in Ben Tre

Several other people stood up and spoke about what I had done for Ben Tre College. Thay Duy, Co Thu, Mr. Luan, and others. Probably the most emotional was Thuyen’s speech. Thuyen is one of my best students, and as she was partway through her speech she started crying. It was very moving, and I had to fight to hold myself together.

After the speeches it was time for lots of pictures!

Co Hong giving me a present from the Teacher's English Club

Co Thu with a present from the English Department

A certificate stating I passed Ben Tre's Vietnamese test! I am now officially proficient in Vietnamese!

With Mr. Luan, Thay Phuoc and some of the leaders of Ben Tre College

The English Department: Front row: Mr. Tuan, Mrs. Nhung, Ms. Y, Mrs. Hanh, Mrs. Thuy, Mrs. Thu, Me, Mrs. Chau Anh, Mrs. Hoang, Mr. Hoang
Back row: Mrs. Trang, Mrs. Lieu, Mr. Bao Duy, Mr. Vu Hung

Some of my students: An, Khang, Ngan, Truc, Thuyen, Thoa, Quyen

With Mr. Hoang, my constant companion and savior on multiple occasions

On Friday I spent the morning and afternoon with my students. I went to the market with Ngan and bought rice paper, meat and vegetables to make spring rolls. 

At the market

Ngan, Truc, Quyen, An, Thu and I went to Co Trang’s house, the same place I had attended a party earlier in the year. 

Helping with the vegetables. 

We spent the whole morning cooking the meat and vegetables, then rolling them into goi cuon. As anyone who has ever tried to roll spring rolls can tell you, making spring rolls is really difficult to do gracefully. Vietnamese people do it naturally, but foreigners have a tendency to make the ugliest looking rolls. 

Making the spring rolls

However, at the end of ten months in Vietnam I feel confident saying that my spring roll making skills, while not quite Vietnamese level, were pretty good.

Success!

Delicious

My students might not have agreed, but they humored me.

Final lunch with my students

After that delicious lunch I spent the evening with the teacher’s English club. We went to the house of one of Co Hong’s friends. 

She owns a refrigerator business in Ben Tre, with two offices in the town. Her home is beautiful, and dinner was amazing.  

Delicious

Inside her house. 

As I was leaving the house, I had to transport a big cardboard box for all my stuff back to my room. So we strapped it to my bike. Biking on the wrong side of the road with a strange cargo on my bike? I think I'm fully Vietnamese now!

On Saturday I went on a trip to visit Mr. Hoang’s family house. The first time I had been here, four months ago, his mother lived in a small shanty of wood and corrugated steel. When I visited two months ago, the foundations had just been laid. Now, the entire house was up, poured blue and gray concrete with a tile floor. It's a beautiful house, and I think we inaugurated it pretty well. I really wanted to see it before I left and I'm glad I got the chance. 

At Mr. Hoang's family's house

I went with an entire van of Ben Tre people. Mr Duc, Mr. Hoang, Mr. Minh, Co Ut, Mr. Tung, Thay Hoang, Mr. Le and Mr. Dat. Most of my crew of drinking buddies, and this was my last weekend in Ben Tre. So, I think the mandate was pretty clear for the day: get as drunk as possible. The only person who wasn’t forced to drink was our designated driver, and even he did two shots.

There is a phrase in Vietnamese that you will hear occasionally: “không say không về” Literally, this means “if you aren’t drunk you aren’t going home.” Anytime you hear this phrase you know you’re in for a long day. 

Needless to say, “không say không về!” was cheerfully shouted as soon as I got into the van. It became an eventful afternoon. 

I even managed to pick up a new skill on my last couple days! I had never cut sugarcane before, and one of Mr. Hoang’s friends owned a sugarcane grove. So of course I had to go and see this!

I helped cut the sugarcane

And carry it back to the house

Peel it and chop it

Nothing like chewing on fresh sugarcane to refresh you on a hot afternoon (and to rot your teeth, but w/e) 

Sunday I spent all day packing. Bleh.

All of my luggage. I hate moving. 

On Monday it was time for me to leave. Several of my students came to wish me goodbye. We got coffee at my favorite café, and breakfast from my favorite banh mi stand. They helped me load all my luggage into the car, and then it was time to say goodbye.

My students showing up to see me off!

With Truc, An, Thu, Thu's sister, Kim and Ngan

With my students, Mr. Vu Hung, Mr. Hoang and Mr. Luan

Saying goodbye was hard.

Some of my students started crying, and I had to fight to keep it together myself. I said goodbye to my students, and to the members of the office of facilities, who had kept everything running in my room. Then it was time to go.

I was quiet for most of the drive to the airport.

We reached the airport, and Mr. Hoang, Ms. Y, Mr. Luan and Mr. Vu Hung helped me take all my stuff in. When we got there Mr. Vu was also waiting for me!

At the airport with all of my worldly possessions

My cousins Mai Khanh and Khuong also came to see me away, which was fantastic. I said my goodbyes, then boarded the plane.

Hanging around the airport

The people who saw me off at the airport: Ms. Y, Mr. Luan, Mai Khanh, Khuong, Mr. Hoang, Mr. Vu Hung. (Mr. Vu took the picture)

And well, that was the end of my time in Ben Tre.

Nine months of challenges of triumphs, of delicious food and wonderful people, of broken sinks and cockroaches, of teaching and students, of Halloween parties and Tet banquets, of Christmas celebrations and student plays. It was all over for me.

Favorite memories, in no particular order

- Ross getting an extra hat from Mr. Duc

- Drinking heavily with Mr. Hoang, Mr. Vu, Mr. Tung and the mechanics at Mr. Duc's house

- Playing soccer with the locals in Ben Tre

- Playing da cau the first day I got to Ben Tre

- The first time I was able to speak Vietnamese to our rector Mr. Cong

- Getting invited to Mr. Vu’s brother-in-law’s wedding

- My students saying “ooooooh!” whenever I put a picture of Liz up on a slide

- My first lesson, which failed horribly

- My second lesson, which was a lot better

- Liz playing soccer with my teammates

- All of my Vietnamese teachers, who taught me when I really didn’t want to learn

- Afternoon naps

- Getting to know the café owner across the street, to the point where she knew my entire schedule

- Teaching Quyen how to throw a frisbee

- Magic tricks with Khang

- Running into an American Veteran from Vermont with Liz

- My students singing happy birthday for my little sister

- All the visitors: Liz, Ross, my family, Anna, Lindsay, Anna’s mother, Tyler, Michelle, Andrew

- Café Lang Van with Mr. Hoang, Xuyen, Trinh, Chau and Tram, along with many others

- Visiting Mrs. Trang’s family’s house with Liz

- My students all falling in love with my little brother

- Writing by myself at various cafes

- Puppies and kittens everywhere!

- Long discussions about fighting cocks

- Ice cream with Truc and Kim

It’s been a great time in Ben Tre, and I hope I get to return to visit coconut land soon!

Coming next week, my final goodbye to the rest of the Fulbrighters and Vietnam.

Peace out,
Jefferson

And because you know me so well, here's a cute picture for you:

Mr. Hoang's son Vinh Khang, born about two weeks before I left Ben Tre

Another picture? God you guys are demanding. HERE: 

I saw these kittens, who belong to my favorite cafe's owner, almost every day.
MEOW! 

Ross's visit

Hey all,

So this is going to be a shorter blog post than usual. I am going through the stages of packing/freaking out, so I’ve been pretty busy. This is going to be the second-to-last post I send to you from Ben Tre, I leave Ben Tre for Hanoi on Tuesday May 28^th! So, it’s only a short time until my time here in Vietnam is over. It’s pretty crazy to be writing to you about leaving Ben Tre, but let’s leave that sappy stuff for the next post.

In the meantime, why don’t I tell you about my last week in Ben Tre? This was a particularly fun week, because Ross came to visit! Ross was my roommate in the UChicago London program, and we traveled together to Amsterdam and Dublin. Ross recently wrapped up a Boren Fellowship in Nigeria, and he is going to Tanzania in the fall, so he is a seasoned third-world traveler.

Ross!

Ross arrived in Ho Chi Minh City on Thursday, and I went up to meet him on Friday. We spent the weekend exploring Ho Chi Minh City, seeing the Jamail Mosque, going to Cholon to see Chinese pagodas and to the Ho Chi Minh City Museum to learn more about the city’s history. Along the way I also did my best to introduce Ross to the many delicious foods and drinks of Ho Chi Minh City.

The Jamail Mosque in Cholon, Ho Chi Minh City

Beautiful architecture so different from the surrounding pagodas

Pagoda entrance

Quan Am pagoda

Ross in the courtyard

Through the gate

Dragon dance masks for sale

The opposite side of the pagoda, with a giant green pool

Tiny turtle pagoda!

Outside Quan Am Pagoda

Inside Quan Am 

One of the entertaining things about having people from out-of-country visit me has been seeing their reactions to Vietnam. Typical reactions include,

“Oh my god it is so hot.”

“The traffic here is crazy!”

“Why won’t people stop trying to sell me things?”

“This is delicious.”

Ross’s reactions were a little different. They were more along the lines of,

“Wow, these roads are paved!”

“You have streetlights?”

“So you’re saying the electricity doesn’t shut off after 6 pm every day?”

“Sweet, air conditioners!”

“This is delicious.”

I’m beginning to get an idea what Nigeria is like.

Spotted in the market. Man vs. physics

The church in Cholon 

After exploring Ho Chi Minh City Ross and I headed back to Ben Tre. Ross was going to help teach my students and explore my province!

Ross in the courtyard of Ben Tre College

Ross got to help me teach my classes on Monday and Tuesday, which also happened to be my last classes in Ben Tre College. They were with the first-year students, and at first I was worried about them understanding Ross. However I gave Ross a game to play with the students and it went very well! Ross spoke very slowly and clearly and the students all participated. I was really glad my students did so well, and I was really proud of them.

Ross leading a game I learned from Andrew

 

Asking the students questions

Answering a question

My first year students with Ross and I

Ross was a big hit with the students, who definitely enjoyed talking with him. His clothing was a subject of discussion, because Ross wears a leather cowboy hat wherever he travels. The hat was a staple in London, and it was a huge hit in Vietnam as well. My students and teachers decided that Ross was a cowboy, or an actor who played cowboys in Hollywood films. For the next couple days the words “actor” and “Hollywood” were jokingly thrown around whenever Ross was around.

Ross with Mr. Tuan

Mr. Tuan with my sunglasses and Ross's hat

Ross with Mr. Tuan

Ross with Ms. Tuyen

Ross with Mr. Luan and Mr. Vu Hung and I

In the courtyard, ready for more adventures

Monday evening we were invited to dinner with the teacher’s English Club, where Ross and I “helped cook” several delicious dishes.

Stir-frying meat

Ross stir-frying noodles

Cutting vegetables. Our cooking skills were under constant critique

Finished meal!

Ross with Ms. Tien and Mr. Luan

The food was amazing, as usual, and spending time with the teacher’s English Club is always a lot of fun. The dinner was spent alternating between stuffing our faces full of delicious food and joking with each other.

The table

Mr. Vu Hung, Mr. Luan and Ross

It was a deeply surreal experience watching Ross go through the steps of being “hazed” as a foreigner in Vietnam—being given too much food, attempts to set him up with various single female members of the club—while understanding most of the Vietnamese that was being spoken. It wasn’t so long ago that I was in Ross’s position, and to watch it as no longer quite a foreigner felt very strange.

On Tuesday Ross helped me teach my final English class, and we had a big farewell lunch with the English teachers. Ross got to experience a Vietnamese restaurant meal, complete with repeated shots of rice wine and more food than you can eat. #culturalimmersion

Lunch with all the English Teachers!

Then after that we rented a motorbike. Ross and I wanted to go explore the province, parts of which I had seen but had never explored myself. We successfully found a place that would let us rent motorbikes, then set off down the road.

There was only one tiny, tiny problem. I am pretty proficient by this point at driving an automatic motorbike. But this motorbike was manual. I had no idea what I was doing.

Our (semi-)trusted vehicle

After several eventful starts and stops, and a fair amount of cursing/prayer on both our parts, we finally started to figure it out. Ross knew how to drive a stick-shift car, so between our two skill sets we should be able to figure out how to drive a manual motorbike, right?

Actually, it ended up working. Ross and I were soon speeding down the country roads, heading out into groves of coconut trees and rice paddies.

"Hey, where are we?"

"No idea."

"Cool."

We biked for three hours around the countryside, stopping once for a refreshment break. As we headed back the sun gleamed through thin clouds, casting bright white light into our eyes over a flooded rice paddy. I had to remember that this will not be a common sight when I return to the U.S.

That night we were unexpectedly invited to drink with the mechanics. That was fun, as always. Highlights include the question “why did you go out to the countryside? There's nothing there!” and Ross gaining an additional hat.

Ross was given an additional hat due to concerns that the heat would be too much. I, not having any hats, protested that I should get a hat in vain. 

Ross with Mr. Dat and Mr. Le

The whole group: Mr. Hoang, Mr. Duc, Mrs. Ut, Mr. Man and Ross

On Wednesday Ross and I spent a relaxing morning, then he got back on a bus to Ho Chi Minh City. He was heading to China, and I would be in Ben Tre for a little while longer. Before he left, though, I showed him how to cut open a coconut. 

Ross and I outside the gate of Ben Tre College

Cutting the coconut

RUN AWAY!!!

While Ross was here, I had the opportunity to introduce him to a game called đá cầu, or shuttlecock. The game is played with a feathered shuttlecock, and the object of the game is to keep the shuttlecock in the air as long as possible. It plays like a Vietnamese version of hackeysack, with everyone trying to keep the shuttlecock in the air.

Ross playing đá cầu with my students

The shuttlecock is very light and aerodynamic, so the slightest touch is enough to propel it through the air. It drops quickly, though, and come come from many different angles so you have to judge the trajectory perfectly. You can kick it, hit it with your knees, even use your hands (although better players don't do this). No one keeps score, and there are only two objectives in this game.

1. Keep the shuttlecock in the air
2. Do it with style

The best players use the sides of their feet, their shins, they leap in the air and twist as they send the shuttlecock flying through the air. They let the shuttlecock fly over their head, then lean forward and kick back with their foot, blindly hitting the shuttlecock with the sole of their foot and sending it flying forward. They use their shoulders, their heads, their elbows, the back of their knees. I've seen players send a shuttlecock flying just by hitting it with the inside of their elbow, straightening their arms and popping the shuttlecock into the air.

And eventually, despite all these heroics, the shuttlecock falls to the ground. Everyone laughs, and maybe points a finger at the player who made a mistake. But then they keep playing.


This game for me seems a perfect illustration of life as a foreigner in Vietnam. You're thrown in the midst of it, and at first you just struggle to keep things up. You flail wildly, trying desperately to keep the shuttlecock off the ground, and failing most of the time. You feel slow and clumsy, ham-handed and graceless. Simply keeping everything together evades you. You have been exposed as a clueless foreigner, and you feel the urge to hang your head in shame.

But then you start to ease into it. Keeping the shuttlecock in the air gets easier and easier, and soon you begin showing off. You start trying new and intimidating feats, some of which succeed, some of which don't. You pull off moves that you had no idea you were capable of, and you learn them faster than seems possible. Eventually, you stumble upon the truth of the game.

It's not about keeping the shuttlecock in the air forever. Nobody can do that. Failure is inevitable, and placing perfect success as a goal is unrealistic and ultimately crushing. No, it's about trying new things, about pushing yourself. About embracing your failure and continually trying new and more difficult things. About having the courage to try and backheel the shuttlecock into the air, to leap and scorpion kick it, to try and hit it with the side of your neck because why not? Eventually you find yourselves capable of things you never thought possible.

And when you do fail? Laugh at yourself, pick up the shuttlecock and just keep playing.



Can't believe I'm leaving Ben Tre tomorrow. AAAAAAAGH?!?!?! So many feelings. Thanks for reading, stay tuned for more!

Peace,
Jefferson

Ben Tre sunset