adventures with my Mom: Hanoi chapter

Hello all!

So the big update for this week is that my Mẹ (Vietnamese for mother) is in town for the week! She has  been here for five days already, and she'll be here for another five. Now seems like as good a time as any to update you on our adventures! This post will cover the first few days of her trip here, from when she first arrived to our return from Hanoi

So, Mẹ came down to Bến Tre last Thursday to meet me and to drop off supplies from home. She came with Bac Kim Anh and Anh Cung, my cousin and first cousin from Ho Chi Minh City. When she came here she got to meet several of my co-teachers and co-workers!

It was really fantastic to see Mẹ speaking fluent Vietnamese with my co-workers, all of whom were absolutely thrilled to speak with my mother, talking about working with me and how she liked Bến Tre so far.

Meeting Mr. Hoang, Ms. Trang and Mr. Vu Hung

Taking pictures around the room

With Bac Kim Anh and Anh Cung

With Bac Kim Anh and Mẹ 

The supplies my Mẹ brought included a very special drawing, given to me by a very special someone

After dropping off supplies we all went to get lunch at a nice restaurant. Mr. Hoang accompanied us, and it was great getting to show my family around one of my favorite restaurants. It was also very strange to be sitting at a table with four native Vietnamese speakers...three of whom speak English fluently. I had to remind myself that I don't have to slow down my speech around my Mẹ. 

At lunch!

There was a pet monkey at the restaurant

So of course Mẹ had to take a picture with it

After Mẹ left to go back to Ho Chi Minh City, I taught a class on Friday and then jumped on the bus to go to the airport. There I caught a flight to Hanoi with my Mẹ, to go meet family and explore the city!

We landed in Hanoi and were immediately picked up by Chu Thuat. We spent the rest of that afternoon and evening with Chu Thuat and his family, eating delicious che and a fantastic dinner. Mẹ spent a lot of time catching up with Chu Thuat and I reveled in my recently-acquired ability to actually understand my Mẹ when she is talking about me. 

At Chu Thuat's che restaurant

Playing with Chau Duc Anh

Chilling with the kids

A bit of roughhousing

Mẹ taught him basic math skills using beer cans. I'm not sure if Mẹ is really a kindergarten teacher...

Mẹ taking pictures of the children, excellent photobomb as well

All the men

All the ladies of the house

After dinner with Chu Thuat we checked in at the Rising Dragon (yay!) and I introduced Mẹ to most of the staff there. Then we crashed, exhausted from all the traveling and excitement. 

On Saturday morning we went out to my Ong Dich’s house in Son Tay, a province about an hour outside of Hanoi. This was a much shorter visit, just long enough for us to take some pictures and catch up with Ong Dich a little.

This is my family's backyard. Way too beautiful

Three generations of the Tran family

This time we were able to go to the cemetery where my great-grandfather is buried, along with several generations of my mom’s side of the family. I saw the grave when I came here ten years ago, but I haven’t been back since then.

Fresh flowers strewn at a new grave

Lighting incense at the graves

Going to the graveyard was a particularly moving moment for me. I haven't been back in almost ten years, but I remember even that long ago I was struck by how powerful a place it was. I felt more Vietnamese than ever, standing at my family's tombs, but I also felt more foreign than ever, knowing that I am standing there as a distant offshoot of my Vietnamese family. It is a strange feeling, to know that I am deeply connected to people who were buried in Vietnam almost a hundred years ago, and to also know that if they were still alive I wouldn't even be able to talk to them. I feel like a child of this land sometimes, but a very distant cousin who will always be the black sheep of the family. 

My family's graves

The grave of my great-grandfather

The tomb of my great-grandfather on my grandmother's side

After finishing the visit to my family Mẹ and I went to meet with Michelle. Michelle is my ETA friend who is teaching in Tay Nguyen in the north. It was great to see her and catch up with her, and we got to hit up my favorite cafe in Hanoi, the western coffee shop Joma. 

After lunch I went off to play ultimate frisbee! Mẹ and Michelle came to cheer me on, which was awesome. It was so much fun getting back on the UNIS field and playing ultimate with the Hanoi Ultimate Club. I haven't played with them in two months but I still recognized several of them and a lot of people were really eager to chat. They're a fun group of players and I'm looking forward to seeing more of them in Ho Chi Minh City for Vietnam Hat in December!

Warming up

Michelle and I on the sideline. Silly hats were provided. 

Team orange!

Thanks Mẹ for coming out!

Thanks Michelle, so great to have a fan there!

After the tournament I went home and showered, and then we went off to Mediteranneo for dinner. This Italian restaurant is a place that I think Tyler, another ETA, is actually in love with. I had never actually been there before, so I resolved to check it out. It was delicious, thanks for the recommendation Tyler!

Drinking gin and tonics on the balcony of Mediteranneo 

On Sunday morning we got up early to go explore Hanoi a bit before our afternoon flight. We walked over to the market to get some items for friends and family back home and in our provinces. 

Wandering Hanoi

Best towel ever? Best towel ever.

This is how people transport things in Vietnam

Dong Xuan market, the huge Hanoi shopping area

I bought an incredible number of presents, and then it was already time to go! A really quick trip to Hanoi, but in one evening, one full day and one morning we were able to see family, play ultimate, go shopping and meet some of my friends. Not bad at all

With the Rising Dragon staff. 

After flying back to Ho Chi Minh City, we paused for a bit at the bar in the luxurious Caravelle hotel, catching our breath over delicious smoothies. 

The Caravelle

Then we got in our car and our driver drove us to Bến Tre. 

So, that concludes the chapter of adventures with Mẹ in Hanoi. Check in later to find out what's happened in Bến Tre, including some very special Halloween updates!

Talk to you later!

Sincerely,

Jefferson

New friends and visitors in Ben Tre

Apologies for the lateness of this post,

I suppose now is as good a time as any to get into my workload. Around here, I'm teaching two 3rd year classes (listening and speaking), four 2nd year classes (two listening and two speaking classes) and two 1st year classes (two listening classes). Each class is an hour and a half long, so that ends up totaling at 12 hours of class a week. Add on two hours a week for each of my two English Clubs, one for teachers and one for students, and I'm sitting at exactly 16 hours of teaching a week.

Now, it's not really 16 hours of lesson planning a week, because I have two first year classes and two second year classes, so I can just reuse those lesson plans for later in the week. So when it comes time to plan, it's actually planning 11.5 hours of class a week. And I have a decent curriculum for each class, (although some are better than others), so I'm not working from scratch.

Still, for a new teacher, 16 hours of class feels like a lot sometimes. Now to be clear, I'm not being crazily overworked like some of the other ETAs, and having this much work is I think much better than being underused, which is happening to some of my other ETA friends. Frankly, in terms of the amount of work I have I think my situation is much better than that of most of my friends, so I feel a little bad about complaining.

But still, there is so much personal stuff I want to be doing that is gradually falling by the wayside. Going to the gym, working on my writing, sending out job applications for post-Fulbright, exploring Ben Tre, all of this is stuff that is tailing off, or that I have to fight tooth-and-nail to fit into my schedule. Even this blog, which I updated pretty religiously in Hanoi, has become something I can only do weekly, and even then it's a struggle sometimes. There are just so many days I come back from work, collapse exhausted, work through my lesson plan for the next day, and then go to bed before I remember I was supposed to go grocery shopping or something but there just wasn't any time.

And of course, the curse of being a teacher is that asking for a reduction in work is really hard. If I wanted to drop a class, which class would it be? Maybe the first year students, but then no, I would miss seeing Khanh and Dau and An. Maybe one of the second year classes? God, but then I would never see Quyen, An, or Truc. Okay, so the other second year class...no, damnit Kim and Truc are in that class. Gaah. Okay, maybe the third years--oh, Oanh, Mai, Quyen, Trang and Huong, who took you out to che and lunch twice? You're going to drop their class? Yeah, I didn't think so.

*Head meets desk

I'm not being incredibly overworked over here, I do have a lot of time to meet and make friends, and I've been able to get through this schedule so far. It's just, sometimes I feel like there is precious little me time around here.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

On to the week update!

On Thursday, after English Club finished I was invited to have che with the teachers from English Club. Unfortunately I had to bail early to go talk with my sister, but it was still a very nice invitation, and I hope it happens again this week!

The weekend began on Friday with me getting phở with Mr. Luan, Ms. Kim Long and Ms. Tien.

Ms. Kim Long and Ms. Tien

Mr. Luan 

Mr. Luan is my supervisor and the man responsible for my activities over here, but I haven't really had much time to hang out with him. He's always really busy, and when he has invited me to go out and do something with him I am always busy. It was nice to go and spend some time with him, and with Kim Long and Tien who are incredibly helpful around the office. Also, none of them speak great English so they got some good English practice and I got to practice my Vietnamese as well. Everybody wins!

I was also told about a music show that would be happening in the evening, it was kind of unclear who would be performing or what the show was for. However, Mr. Luan asked me if I had anything planned for the evening, and when I responded that I had nothing planned, he suggested that I go. Well, why not?

The first act I saw, two girls singing a beautiful duet

The music show was a concert put on by the 2nd and 3rd year students to welcome the first years to Bến Tre College. Presented by two MCs who were second year students, students performed a whole range of different songs and dances. As a teacher I got to sit in the front row and absorb the entire show. 

The next act was a dance with girls wearing feathers in their hair

Then a girl sang a song that involved bicycles somehow? I don't really know. Two kids acted out a skit behind her.

The two MCs, I would meet the male one later.

Three girls singing about the areas of Vietnam while others danced in the background

Then a dance crew performed

Another girl with a beautiful voice

Then Dan, the MC, stept up to sing. You could hear hearts melt in the audience

The last dance crew

These guys were my favorites, they had the best choreography

I enjoyed the show thoroughly, all the student performers had a lot of enthusiasm and some of them had a lot of talent as well. The MCs did a nice job of working the crowd, and it was clear the other students were really into the performance as well.

After the show I was invited out to dinner with teachers from the pedagogy department, which was the unofficial sponsor of tonight's event. We all went out to get cháo vịt, or duck porridge. It was delicious, and it was great to meet a whole bunch of teachers who I don't normally spend very much time with. Furthermore, many fewer of these teachers speak much English, so I used my Vietnamese a lot more than I normally do. At a certain point one of the teachers pulled out a bottle of rượu.

Oh boy. I was told that this was rượu đế, or king's wine. Well, as dinner commenced the now familiar ritual of "drink a shot with various higher-ups" around the table began. Various teachers expressed admiration at my ability to drink, which I guess is good. They were also very complimentary of my Vietnamese, saying that they can't believe I've only been studying for two months. That was very nice of them to say, and I definitely feel much more comfortable in conversational situations now. Which is awesome.

At a certain point, the MC, who was dining with us, invited me to drink with him. Because he is still a student at Bến Tre College he was very deferential when he invited me. I'm so used to being the younger/less senior person at the table that it definitely felt odd being the senior one.

So my Friday was pretty entertaining, got very drunk with a new crew of friends.

Saturday morning I woke up very excited, because today Lindsay was coming to visit Bến Tre! Lindsay would be my first visitor in Bến Tre, so I was very excited to show her this town. I also frantically cleaned my room, because, you know, new visitor. So, with my room not necessarily sparkling but somewhere just shy of presentable, I welcomed Lindsay, her friend Annie, and two of their students to Bến Tre College.

After a short tour of the College we went out to Lăng Văn Cafe, my favorite cafe in Bến Tre. We got coffee and relaxed, talking about the past weekend in Hanoi and our respective lives at our universities. We also had a long discussion about Bến Tre's recent history and the development of the town, one of the students is from Bến Tre but chose to go to Tiền Giang University so she had an interesting perspective. We also heard some interesting travel recommendations, apparently Tra Vinh is a very interesting place to visit, with many beautiful lakes. It's always great talking to Lindsay and Annie, and it was pretty great introducing Mr. Vu to them as well.

For lunch we went to Truong Ky, a restaurant in the center of town. I like Truong Ky because it is one of the few nice restaurants that was open before the bridge was built. Truong Ky was here before Bến Tre's growth began, and it looks that way. The inside is clean and pristine, but it is all hard ceramic tiles and no-nonsense metal furniture. There is none of the spaciousness or flowery jungle/colonial architectural themes that you see in newer restaurants in Bến Tre. Truong Ky is about function and food first, with aesthetics a distant, distant second. Oh, and the food is delicious. They serve the best canh chua cá (a sweet and sour fish soup) I've had in Vietnam.

After lunch I wanted to take Annie and Lindsay to the market, but I realized as we were motoring through the town that the market really only gets bustling during the evening. We had to settle for a scenic ride along the river, with the brown river lazily flowing past us, a solid green wall of coconut trees on the other side.

Later we went to get smoothies at a cafe that Mr. Vu recommended.

Mr. Vu, the two students, Annie and Lindsay at the cafe

Classy gentlemen

Lindsay's students from Tiền Giang University

It was a lot of fun seeing Lindsay and Annie, and I hope they'll visit again soon! Or, maybe I can go visit them in Tiền Giang.

Visiting them in Tiền Giang will be much easier because I now have an electric bike. Think of it as an electric scooter, it can go about 25-30 km/h, and it has a range of 20-25 km. It's a secondhand bike, but  it has a new battery. It has enough juice to carry two people pretty easily, and it should have enough range for me to visit Tiền Giang. 

I'm kind of in love with my new bike, it's so much easier to get around town now and this bike is actually large enough for me. I also feel like less of a tourist around here, because really only students use bikes to get around town. Now I can motor around with the locals and feel like I belong here. Oh, and because electric bikes are legally bicycles, I can zoom around in the insane Vietnamese traffic on a device that goes 30 km/h without getting a license! Wheeeeee!

My electric bicycle

After hanging out with Lindsay, I came back home intending to nap before lesson planning and dinner. Instead I ended up playing volleyball, drinking a lot of beer, going home to briefly rehydrate, and then drinking homemade rice wine. Oh well.

I got invited to drink with the mechanics, and those guys are absolute tanks. They work right next door to me and they are always very friendly, despite the fact that they all speak zero English. They also recently installed a new hot-water system for me, so I definitely owe them. I was really glad to spend more time with them, and it was definitely an experience to remember. I mean, how often will I be sitting on a concrete floor with Mr. Mung, Mr. Vu and Mr. Tung,  (Mr. Lei is PTFO on the ground) while eating duck eggs and ramen washed down with shots of rice wine served out of a Sprite bottle? One for the memory book, that's for sure.

But still. Gaah. All of the hangovers.

On Sunday I had breakfast with one of my teachers and coffee with another student, I really am starting to feel very welcomed over here! People are much more comfortable inviting me to have breakfast, and coffee, and drink with them, and that is really really awesome. It's kind of isolating over here sometimes, so when people invite me out somewhere I really appreciate it and inevitably have a great time. Even if that invitation is to drink homemade rice wine out of a Sprite bottle.


I'll leave you all with one anecdote. At the end of the concert on Friday, as I was leaving to go to dinner, several students from one of the dance crew were excitedly taking pictures. These students were clearly all still running off the high from their performances, they were very happy and very excited, and they wanted to take all the pictures possible. These students were actually the dance crew that I enjoyed seeing the most, so when they asked if I wanted to take a picture, I said yes.

With the dancers

These kids were so excited to be taking a picture with me that they kept wanting to take pictures, and they were a lot more forward about holding my arm, grabbing onto me, etc. The female students in particular kept giggling and shrieking and trying to hold onto my arms. At a certain point, we really had to go, so two male teachers in the pedagogy department (politely) pushed through the crowd, grabbed me and pulled me away, saying "Jefferson has to go eat dinner," "It's time for Jefferson to go," "Okay, Jefferson has to go." 

To recap: I was pulled away from a screaming crowd of Vietnamese fangirls by my two companions. This actually happened.

There are definitely times that the constant attention gets grating, that you wish people would just leave you alone, that you feel like there's a spotlight on you all the time and you can't take it anymore. 

But then there's Friday night, which was just plain awesome.

Peace out,

Jefferson is leaving the building