Life in Vietnam: Efficiency

Hello all,

So as I am writing this, I am currently waiting for my co-teacher to show up. My electric bicycle, which 

I sent to the mechanics yesterday morning to fix, is still totally untouched, leaving me basically unable to travel around.

This afternoon I finished my Vietnamese lesson early, then texted one of my co-teachers that I was available for my meeting. I have a soccer game at 4:00 I really want to make. The meeting is scheduled for 3:30. If the meeting is quick, if I run over to borrow a bicycle from the mechanics, there is a chance I will be able to get over to the game without missing too much.

Of course, she is now running late.

Welcome to life in Vietnam. The cycle of inefficiency runs deep around here. People are late, things run into mysterious delays, machines randomly break. Things can get done here very quickly, and I’ve seen it happen before. But when things need to get done, when you really need something to happen quickly…Vietnam is the playground for Murphy’s law.

Cutting it a little close, and need to get the photocopies in? Copier machine is broken.

Relying on someone to plan a good warmup activity for English Club? They’re called away to a mysteriously named meeting, that you’re not sure even exists. They are unavailable to help you.

Trying to get some work done ahead of time? Province-wide power outage.

Want to make a quick run to the grocery store before class? Yeah express lines are not a thing in Vietnam, and the lady in front of you is 70 years old and shopping for three generations. She is going to take her goddamn time.

None of these things in and of themselves is necessarily something to ruin your day. You learn to be flexible and patient, to take these little delays in stride. To smile to yourself when things don’t quite work on time, to have a little shrug and hand wave that says, “ah well, it’s Vietnam.” There’s no point flipping out over one little inefficiency, right? You’re not that uptight.

But then there are the days things pile up. When you are swamped with work, and everything seems designed to throw a hitch into your plans.

The internet is down, so you can’t plan your lesson. Then your bike is broken, so you can’t go to the café to get internet. So you go to make some photocopies, but the copier is broken. So you say screw it, and call your friend to go get coffee.

He shows up twenty minutes late.

By the time the waiter tells you that they are all out of coffee—the man who delivers coffee to the cafe had to go home to unexpectedly pick up his son—it’s all you can do not to punch the unsuspecting waiter in the crotch as hard as you can.

Meanwhile, the Vietnamese people with you are totally unfazed by any and all disasters that are befalling you, laughing sympathetically and offering you a cup of tea. Even if it is their job to fix whatever just broke, they’ll sit down and chat with you calmly over a cup of tea.

Instead of, you know. Fixing it.

Now, the classic expat thing is to take a look at this and say, “Wow, we Americans are so work-focused and crazy! We would have a better life if we simply relaxed and stopped worrying so much about work, and enjoyed life like the people of __________ (insert 3^rd world country).”

And, there is something to be said for that. For not taking things too seriously, for sitting back and enjoying a cup of tea while the power is out. For realizing that you don’t have to work yourself to death, that maybe you should chill out a little bit.

But you know, sometimes you have a bunch of work that you want to get done, and you really want to get to a soccer game on time. That’s when you start missing the efficiency of dear old Uncle Sam.  

So you huff and puff under your breath, never letting it show under the smile you keep permanently plastered on your face (cultural ambassadorship!). You’ll get through these next few hours, and then in the confines of your room later, you will vent to your friends back home.

But then, you get to the soccer game fifteen minutes late. You pull into the parking lot, and everyone is still getting warmed up. Everyone else was running late as well.

You play a good game, then pedal your borrowed bike back to campus. This bike doesn’t go as fast as your electric one, but you realize it is much lighter and more maneuverable.  You find the ride back strangely calming as you pedal at a languid pace. The copy machine is magically working now, and you race to English Club with the photocopies hot in your hands.

You arrive five minutes late, still not having eaten dinner. There is no one else here.

Then students slowly wander in, chatting cheerfully to each other in Vietnamese, still on their cell phones.

The projector isn’t working and the sound system is screwed up so the listening exercise is totally useless. Twice the number of students you expected show up, and you need to send another student out to make more. English Club starts thirty minutes late.

But you know what? You aren’t stressed anymore. You are in a strange tranquil state. You slowly realize that all of this will work. Maybe not in the best way, maybe not in the most efficient way. But it will work. 

Club finally starts, and by the time the hour-and-a-half session is over, both you and the students leave happy and content.

*shrug. Maybe you did need to chill out a bit.

Peace,

Jefferson

P.S. Family comes tomorrow!!! So excited!!!!!!!